Quotes the Fourth
Yet More Miscellaneous Amusements and
Notable Quotables
. . . Spring 2003 Brian . . . . . also collects "verbal memorabilia" some of which are offered here for your amusement (!) Remember that the idea is that you send some of your favourites to us :-)
First, another from Douglas Adams, whose Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy may yet turn out to contain the Sum of Human Knowledge!
Some say that when man fully understands the Universe,
it will immediately cease to exist and be replaced
with something even more inexplicable.
Some say this has happened several times already.
(Thanks to Zoe Adams for this contribution)
A few more favourites.......
How many legs has a dog, if you call the tail a leg?
Ans: FOUR - calling the tail a leg doesn't make it a leg!
Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
Anon.
Seen on a protestor's placard at the World Trade Organisation summit:
"World Wide Movement Against Globalisation"
The new broom sweeps clean - but the old one knows all the corners…
Anon.
If there is a flaming dog, don't pet it
Anon.Thanks to Coolman567 for that :-)
The Seasons of man:
A fence last 3 winters
A dog lasts 3 fences
A horse lasts 3 dogs
A man lasts 3 horses
Anon.
Only the faithless wife knows the hippo's cough
Anon.
Go to your Aunt's house, but not every day.
Anon.
Last Words of Pancho Villa :
"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
Chinese Proverb:
"Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life"
Malaysian (?) Proverb:
An old man loved is flowers in winter
"All I want in life is some shirts and some ties, and a wife to tell me which goes with which"
Anon.Thanks to Jacob Frantz for that :-)
"The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there is no law against whacking them around a bit"
Eric Porterfield
Exeter (Ek-sit-a) The small (often plastic) item that is always left over when you dismantle anything technical and re-assemble it.
Aquadextrous (ak-wa-deks'trus) Possesing the ability to turn a bath tap (= faucet) on and off with your toes
Frust (frust) The small line of debris that refuses to be swept up into the dustpan, and keeps refusing until you give up and sweep it under the carpet
Phonesia (fo-nee'zhuh) The affliction of dialling a 'phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
Pupkus (pup'kus) The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it
Wysteria - Laughing until you wet yourself!
Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol [N.F. Simpson]
SUSHI. Known to the rest of the world as bait.
Dead people are cool
We are the people our parents warned us about
BOSS Bureau of State Security (S. Africa)
MAD Mutual Assured Destruction (Nuclear Arms policy)
PBM Poor Biological Material (Doctor's Shorthand 1)
NFN Normal for Norfolk (Doctor's Shorthand 2)
And to finish ... an excerpt from the Hedgehog Song
(by The Incredible String Band):
Do send us any more that YOU know of!
| Amusing Quotes | Verses and Poems |
| More Amusing Quotes | More Favourite Verses |
| Yet More Quotables | A Shakespeare Sonnet |
| More Quotables - Q4 | Viola-isms |
| Favourite Images | |
|---|---|
If you would like to contact us at any time send e-mail to:
Lesley at Lesley@lesleydavies.co.uk or
Brian at response@bdavies.co.uk
